Toxic Avenger

1 May, 2022 toddrick 0 Comments 1 category

The Toxic Avenger is a classic from the 80’s, I remember renting it several times as a kid.

We start off with a warning about the violence in the movie which is a little ahead of it’s time.. we have to think about the children.

We are told that in enormous cities like New York, the cost of success is pollution, and that in order to maintain something that large other places have to cope for the betterment of humanity.

That millions of tons of toxic chemical waste must go some place.

And one of those Someplaces is Tromaville: Toxic Chemical Capital of the World which is as we shall see in New Jersey.

The Narrator tells us the story takes place here at the Tromaville Health club..

And more specifically with this man, Melvin Ferd, who’s entire being will be changed by Toxic Waste.

We see a bunch of people working out. There are lots of typical boob shots and you can see some of the women are even working out in heels. Most people have their shirt off and it’s just a very popular place.

We find out that Melvin isn’t all that great at being the cleanup guy at the Gym, and he pisses off local bully “Bozo” who has already told his friends that he hates him.

They don’t get into a fight but Bozo storms off screaming because Melvin screwed with his karma.

Bozo’s friend Slug and his lady friend hide out in the gym to have sex and we find out that they are actually killers, they run down people with their cars for fun.

Later that night Bozo and Slug and their ladies are in Bozo’s car, and Julie explains how the point system works with “Pedestrian”. It gets racist, but I’m not really sure why because everyone seems to be worth the same amount of points, they do mention children under 12 are worth more.

So with natural foreshadowing like that a child is of course, riding his bike on the road.

So they run him down then run him over again to finish the job.

After taking photos of their murder they want to kill again, but Slug tells them he has church in the morning and needs to go home.

So it’s the next day and naturally everyone is at the health center. Bozo, Slug, Julie and Wanda decide they’ve had enough of Melvin and hatch a plan but we aren’t in on it yet.

Julie convinces Melvin that she wants to hook up with him, but only if he wears this pink outfit and meet her by the pool.

Meanwhile 2 disposal guys are riding through town with a bunch of hazardous waste.

And we know that because they talk about how hazardous it is.

And luckily for probably Melvin.. they stop in from of the Health Club to do drugs.

Melvin is ready for love and didn’t have many questions so he dawns his pink tutu and heads on to the pool for some sweet lovin.

It was an actual live sheep and they put lipstick on it.

Only to discover that the lights are off, and when they are turned back on he’s kissing a sheep.

Also everyone is laughing at him for it. So he runs.

And they chase him…

right out of a window.. and straight into..

The Toxic waste.

He gets himself out and runs down the street as he ignites on fire.

The people who chased him from the Health Center are divided on if he’s faking it or not, but for the most part they are just gawking at the scene.

Police also try to help but ignite on fire just touching Melvin..

After getting away he arrives home and tries to wash it off in the Tub. But it’s not effective and in the end..

He transforms into The Toxic Avenger!

But his mom just thinks he has finally reached puberty in there with the low growling.

Toxie heads back into town for some revenge..

Now I don’t know what relevance this sign will have on the rest of the movie, but what I’m getting from this is that Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and any time late at night at this spot public pissing is A-OK.

Right next to the Piss sign are 3 criminals, the one in the middle is named “CigarFace”. They are counting the money they are going to use to bribe a “good cop who can’t be turned” they also say that if he doesn’t turn, they intend to kill him.

Just then Officer Goodguy shows up and as you’d expect he does not accept the bribe they were instructed to give him by “The Boss”, they hoped he’d say this so they proceed to try to beat him to death.

They are pretty successful but just before deliver the killing blow.. some hands come out of the darkness..

And it’s Toxie.. he easily kills the other 2 and puts mops in their faces but cigarface survives.

CigarFace vows revenge as Toxie helps Officer goodguy up. Toxie tells him he doesn’t know what got into him and he is sorry..

At a press meeting the next day Officer GoodGuy gives out the deets on Toxie and how he was saved..

and the press just loves it. But you know who doesn’t love it?

The mayor and his corrupt buddies. The chief of police is apparently a closet nazi. They complain the take is short because of what happened and Knuckles and Nipples where their biggest producers.

Toxie tries to go back home but his mother just screams so he has to find a new place to live..

Since he’s already toxic, he decides the best place is the toxic waste dump which is directly on the beach.

The crooked mayor and his cronies hatch a plan to bury the toxic waste and sell the property.

And then they evil laugh about the whole situation while ladies in lingerie jiggle around them.

Some amount of time passes.. and we are at another popular hangout that is *not* the gym.

It’s called “The Mexican Place” but I can’t fault them for this restaurant name. I literally rented this for the first time from “The Movie Place” so it was apparently an option.

Everyone is enjoying Mexican Food and there are ninja swords on the wall because that’s normal for the 80’s.

This line cook is making the special sauce maybe?

Just kidding, it’s crotch booze. mmm body temperature goes down smoooooth.

You see this nice blind lady and her dog, she’s important later.

These 3 guys show up to rob the place. the one with the make up is actually, Patrick Kilpatrick and he’s been in like 180 movies.

So they shoot a guy.. and then somehow notice our blind lady friend..

And they kill her dog (sorry) before trying to rape her.

But Toxie shows up to save the day..

He makes one guy into a milkshake.

Another guy into some fries..

Then he rips off the arm of the last one and puts him in the oven.

And when checking with the blind lady she asks him if he can help her because they killed her doggo. So he tells her he will take care of her.

He walks her to her place and she’s a bit of a klutz, she offers to make him a sandwich and accidentally feels on his junk.

Meanwhile back at the health center the Corrupt mayor gets his drug money from a Drug Dealer because everyone is still hanging out at the gym. TromaVille puts health first.

The drug dealer is named Dennis, and he takes a little bump before getting some reps in so he can be swole.

Suddenly Toxie shows up at the gym and everyone loses their shit.

Everyone except Dennis, who is too busy dreaming about his new beach body to realize he’s about to be murdered.

Which is pretty bad actually, Toxie crushes his skull with weights, but at least he tries to mop it up.

Even though a murder has taken place Wendy needs to sauna.

She also gets a little hot from looking at her crime scene photos.. and decides it’s time to uh.. appreciate herself.

just as she’s getting close Toxie shows up but she thinks it’s her boyfriend Slug. So she rips off the hood.

and we get to see Toxie for the first time.

He picks her up and puts her on the hot rocks and it burns her but it’s not clear if he kills her or not and we don’t ever see her again and no one acknowledges her death.

Next we get a little bit of a montage of Toxie being a hero and the public loving it. He saves a 12 year old from prostitution. Saves some kids from being run down by Bozo and Slug..

Opens Jars, Helps old ladies.. saves babies.. he’s all over the place.. in fact he’s so good at this..

The mayor tells his buddies they need to kill him before he kills them.

And they do try.. They send a bunch of guys with guns to surround Toxie, but he jumps out of the way

And they just shoot each other instead. So that was easy.

We find out that the blind girls name is Sara, and that Toxie is now her boyfriend. It’s not clear that she knows he’s Toxie.

She moves in with him and they have Sexy Time.. and I was actually a little concerned because earlier he peed green acid and I thought for sure this wasn’t going to work out but apparently it was so good..

She makes him about a million eggs for breakfast.

So things are looking pretty good for Melvin. But it’s not good enough.. because he still needs revenge.

So he goes after Julie, and chases her into a dark basement area under the Health Center.

And presumably he stabs her with some scissors, but just like Wendy, we don’t see this happen and no one seem to care.

More or less just after this Bozo and Slug beat down an old woman and steal her car..

But Toxie grabs on to the roof of the car and manages to kill Slug.

then he gets inside and forces Bozo off a cliff, but before he does he makes sure to tell him that he’s Melvin.

The car explodes on impact but Toxie is ok, because I guess he’s fireproof. So he walks away.

A scientist tells the media he thinks that Toxie can actually smell Evil.

And this is somewhat important, because his next target is a little old lady. Even he gets upset about this.

So after killing her he tells Sara the truth that he’s the monster, but she loves him and they both try to leave town.

The police discover that the little old lady was in fact, evil as shit. She ran a slavery ring and murdered a bunch of people. But they want him dead and so they cover it up and tell the public that she was an innocent.

So a manhunt begins for Toxie, and Officer Good Guy is a dissenting voice but gets shutdown by the Chief.

So the cops are on the hunt and they do end up finding Toxie and Sara camping on a farm outside of town

And she’s in a bikini because I don’t know why not.

So the mayor calls the governor and asks for the national guard to kill him but the governor wants to capture him.

A little B-Roll footage later and we see many vehicles headed to the farm.

The Townspeople that he’s saved also hear of this so they head that way to save Toxie

So everyone, friend and foe alike, surround their tent as they are presumably sleeping..

The mayor wants to kill them but the National Guard still disagrees but he’s still trying to make it happen. He uses his bullhorn and demands they come out.