Return To Blood Fart Lake
On Prime it mentions this was made in 2021 but that’s false, the movie was made in 2012.
Ok we start our pre-credits adventure with Ben from the first movie.. He’s out on the same dock we saw Hambone die on in the first movie.
He angrily yells JIIIIMMMMMYYYY!!!! I guess he’s feeling a little down since all his friends died in the last movie.
He hears someone groaning in pain and goes to investigate and we find a dying man.
He’s been stabbed with a Corn Cob, (and there is clearly some BBQ sauce there or something.. ) so Ben knows it was Jimmy that’s done this.. Our Victim said he was Pooping by the lake and someone came out of the water and did this.
Before the Victim dies there is a weird exchange about the T-Shirt company Ben has and that’s bc the dead guy in real life is Ben. and the T-shirt company is real I guess it was an ad in the first movie or they are friends I dunno. https://www.fright-rags.com/
Ben tells no one that he “knew Jimmy was back because he felt it.. in his Taint.”
And we get our opening credits.
I almost left out a detail here. Ben said he needs one man.. Leo Dechamp
It’s a meeting, of a new Web Show “Spirit Hunters” and the person leading the team is Angie “Muggle Jugs” Hartsfield from another show called Jug Fucklers (I did not make any of that up.) She said the people making the show wanted someone as Hot as her to attract attention.
We see the rest of the team but who’s that on the right?
It’s Gwendolyn Bouvier, Miss Atlantic. She died in the last movie, I’m hoping they have a good explanation for this but I bet we don’t get one.
The rest of the team Don’t have names yet.. So I’ll name them as is my usual Fashion. Discount Slash here is glad to be part of the team and is smelling eggs.
Chuckie Harrison here has heard of Bouvier and tells the team her therapist wants her to stop being such a pussy.
I’ll call this guy on the left The Great Spoodini. He snuck eggs into Discount Slashes pockets. Who knows if these people will live up to their names.
Slash is impressed.
In the weakest British accent she tells the team their first investigation will be.. you guessed it.. The Scarecrow Killer, Jimmy.
Gwen said this sounds familiar.
Now we see what Leo Dechamp is up to.
He and his assistant Nadine are doing another show “Leo’s Fixin Shit” and he is showing you that the only way to Sasquatch Proof your home is to cover it with literal assholes
When they are done filming we see the Camera man is.. HAMBONE?
Hambone talks about himself in the third person a bit then excuses himself to answer his pink phone.
And Leo and Nadine.. go to.. have sex.. it’s not awkward at all.
The Spirit Hunters are off to visit Jimmy’s Family Farm.
And they stop at.. a restaurant.. that exclusively sells mustard covered licorice.
They interview the owners who let them know.. the van brunt farm is haunted and the whole area is cursed.
And we learn spoodini’s name is Pauly.
Our Team leaves anyway despite a barely audible warning to not go.
We are back to Leo now who “can’t believe his eyes”
It’s ben who’s come to ask for his help fighting Jimmy
After hugging it out.
Leo runs and hides in his “mansion”
He tells Ben he can’t fight Jimmy now. He’s too afraid.
So Ben tells him he’ll do it himself.. and Nadine tells Leo she’s strapping up tonight because Leo is being a bitch.
The Team arrive at the Farm and are greeted by a Bald Man
He tells them he’s Moses Fontaine, and that he’s the watcher of the house.
And he invites them inside, and tells them he doesn’t believe in Jimmy being back, and introduces them to Jimmy’s sister.. Scrumpux (I didn’t make that up either)
She’s clearly the same actress as Gwen. Anyhoo she speaks “strangely” and tells them Jimmy is back and he’s coming home.
They then have a montage of them filming things and dancing.
Ben shows up to the store the Team passed by earlier driving.. a wheelchair.
They tell him about the Team and he yells at them, pies one of them.. and leaves.
Later.. while.. Leo and Nadine are.. busy..
Leo has an epiphany that he needs to join Ben.
They are going into an orchard maybe we will finally see someone die.
Moses tells them to watch out for nudists.
After another montage of them looking around we see our boi Jimmy
And discount slash does some weird thing on some tires before he goes into a building by himself
While in the building we finally find out his name is Shawnee Ramon
As expected he runs into Jimmy
Who tells him he knows a way to make the movie better.. First he needs to turn the camera on himself..
Then he should take a look at those 2 corn cobs sticking out of his head.. and when Slash asks “What corn cobs?”
Jimmy tells him.. THESE CORN COBS!
Slash said “Whoa I can totally see corn cobs now brah”
44 minutes in to the first death scene. I don’t count the first guy
Ok after breakdancing for Scrumpux, Moses hears something..
It’s ben who tells him Jiimmy is real and is coming. Moses radios Angie to pull the team back in.
They get back to the farm and get excited that Ben is there because they know he survived the last attack. The also notice slash is gone.
They decide the most logical way to get murdered next is to split up and go look for him
Ashley and Spoodini split off from the rest and decide to have Sex.
So that’s kind of what happens.
She tells spoodini to start without her
And Jimmy Kills them both, with corn.. I’m sparing some details here they are pretty awful.
Leo has also arrived on the scene.
Leo and Nadine catches up to Ben, Chuckie, and Gwen
Ben fills Leo in on the Sister and the Farm
And they both decide to mock Jimmy
So Naturally, Jimmy shows up and kills Gwen and Chuckie. If you are curious, there was never an explanation on how Gwen came back and we don’t know what Chuckie’s real name is.
Also Ben doesn’t recognize or acknowledge her.
Both Leo and Ben say “GWEN A GIRL I DIDN’T KNOW!” nice
They have a little exposition Leo said Thunder and he broke up bc she stole his wigs.
Then Jimmy Kills Nadine.
And moses shows up
And the three of them face off against Jimmy
who takes his sack off.
And then they.. dance?
The scene cuts and Leo tells no one that “They’ve been fighting from dusk till dawn”
They tell scrumpox to leave but she’s in a wedding dress.. and ready to get.. nuptial
Moses comes back in also and seems to die or nap. I’m not sure.
Jimmy walks in and meets his sister.
They hug it out, and he insinuates they’ve had sex, when Ben asks her if she was the one who “called him” she said no “he did”
He Who? they predictably ask..
yup. It’s Caspian.
We are all confused.. so it’s Story Time.
Some Town person scooped up his remains and did spells on it and he was reborn.
So they ask what the plan is.. and Caspian tells them they are to witness a marriage.
That little Jimmy clones are going to be made only there is one hitch.
She can’t have babies.. so Caspian is going to have them for her.
Because Caspian has lady parts. They show him tucking but I’m just going to let you use your imagination.
And I know you might need more closure than that.
But that’s it.
The last movie I gave a -5 of 10. This was even worse so -10 out of 10.