Llamageddon

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It’s that time again.. Llamageddon! The budget for this movie was nearly nothing so it may be extra awful.

If you want to watch this it’s available on Prime.

we start off with some animated exposition..

our evil llama antagonist is from space and it looks like they are on an invasion

one llama per planet it seems and ours crashes in a fireball after taking out the space station

The spaceship looks just like a trailor, that’s handy..

pants optional scientists examine the “space ship”

oh shit they have a helicopter

We get no closure on this egg or those people other than the end scene.

they find a furry space llama egg

we’ve got our protagonists a guy who wets the bed and is being voiced over 100% of the time

and his sister who is throwing a party at their grandparents house

they notice a llama and assume their grandparents bought it to waste money

our lame party begins.. the boy is wigging out

3 whole minutes of weird dancing while the girl tries to arrange to get her brother laid

one of the party goers who is late runs into the llama who uses laser eyes to blow up their car

another goes outside because who uses a bathroom?

he’s trying to convince everyone to leave

they would rather die and have never seen a horror movie

this is the girl they are trying to set him up with

weird pause

one of the party goers tries to make the llama smoke weed and it eats his fingers

then his girlfriend gets killed after the llama throws his heart at her

meanwhile, inside they have a drinking game

and decide to move it to the hot tub

everyone is drinking busch i’m not sure how these kids expect to get drunk

there is a sudden rash of skoodlypooping and it’s nooooot sexy at all

finally it’s hot tub time

but what’s this? a llama opening doors?

you bet it is.

the llama kicks a radio into the hot tub and everyone wiggles around dying forever

our pisser from earlier sees this and runs

and two more girls see this and get in anyway

the remaining people discover the deaths and decide to call for help but alas no bars

so they go outside…

the Llama predictably appears

kills more guests

and throws up on one

which turns him into a half lama half human?

they all make a break for it eventually to the woods

but leave the half llama behind so he runs

then it turns animated again and he’s like.. eaten by the other llama?

they come across the ship

another one of them dies after finding a space stick and giving a as speech.. suddenly he’s got a star trek shirt on too

they run to a barn and hide

this leaves the brother and sister from earlier, and their dad shows up and gets a gun

turns out half llama isn’t dead but is pregnant

so they lay more eggs

and then beg dad to kill them

how could you murder something so cute?

then he killed the eggs but not after they started hatching

then he squares off against the llama who bites his neck

our heroes? run in front of a combine and their fate is sealed

but look it’s dad!

and the llama is presumably killed

and dad finally dies

and they look up as more llamas crash into the planet

and that’s IT.2 out of 5 bad everything had comedy

a end credits scene is someone cracking one of the eggs into a pan

And Eating it.

Boy that was rough.. we are still deciding on next weeks.. descent into madness.

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