Terror At Blood Fart Lake
It’s finally time for Terror at Blood Fart Lake.I don’t know what to expect but if there are no blood farts I may be disappointed. I will mosaic out gore.. let’s get started…
Pre-Credits:First you should know that even though I have a better way to screenshot Prime Video, this movie’s quality is **Stellar** so be prepared to look at blurry for more of this post.We start our adventure with a guy named “Hambone” we know his name is “Hambone” because he refers to himself in the third person the entire scene, he is inviting some friends over to his cabin on BLOOD FART LAKE and then after’s off the phone with him he goes on for a bit about how good life is right now for him.
Hambone then decides to take a walk on his docks. And mentions he’s never been so happy.
Hambone presumably becomes food for some monster that emerges from the lake. We (including Hambone) saw this coming.
We have our credits..
And a very weird exercise montage with clearly the lady from the cover.
After the credits we see a car in the woods, stopped. It’s the friends of Hambone coming to visit him.
They have run out of gas. One of them “Snake” spent the money on munches and a Bill and Ted Tape. ?
As they all step out of the car “Leo DeChampa” a redneck from the woods confronts them, they talk a little about BLOOD FART LAKE and he tells them it’s Cursed. He also offers to give them gas.
There are 4 other people in the car, the Driver who didn’t notice he was low on gas, a Self Described Goth girl (she doesn’t look very goth to me), a Girl who keeps speaking with a loud Atlantic radio accent so I’m going to call her Miss Atlantic, and a guy who is really trying to sound like Andrew Dice Clay and he’s wearing some very very loud pants.
While Leo gives more exposition about “why it’s cursed” he pisses in the gas tank.
Leo explains a child “Jimmy” was burned alive by other children who set fire to corn field, and he was clinging to a scare crow as it happened and the scare crow is now alive and when he’s done, they part ways and no one mentions that leo pees gasoline because the car has a full tank now.
Our Gang show up at the cabin, and I have to say for an abandoned place there sure are a lot of other cars there.
When they show up on the porch of the cabin they assume Hambone is inside because they do not see him, and then suddenly a man in a “I’d do me” shirt appears and tells them he cleans up the place and is named Caspian. He also tells them he’d like to join in on their fun and that he knows Hambone.
They agree and go get settled in the cabin.
While our Group get settled in Leo Dechampa’s car is broken down.
I don’t know what to call her yet, But I assume she’s going to end up the hero because the rest of the group is pretty unlikable.
Anyhoo she’s asks Leo about the Bus, and he offers to take her to BFE New York himself but when she gets into the car he admits to no one that he intends to strangle her.
They decide to roll call. Jersey Fancy Pants is named Zebes. his accent is bad, he idolizes Tony Danza.
The Driver (who is the most boring character in this whole thing) is Ben. He owns a tshirt company. You don’t really care about it lol.
The “Goth” is Sally. She tells you she changed her name because of Nightmare before Christmas.
Miss Atlantic is Gwendolyn Bouvier. She claims she’s been a movie in canada.
Snake is just snake.
Even though they are not looking at the water they all seem to notice a woman come out of it, Ben is very impressed, and Caspian calls her a whore. And that her name is Ashley Sawyer.
Ben rushes out to meet her and invites her to hang with them later, and she farts. It’s a weird exchange.
Boots and Leo are driving and she tells him that actually.. she needs to get to BLOOD FART LAKE. he stops the car and refuses because it’s cursed, after failing to convince him..
She kicks him out of the car.. and when he asks her why she tells him it’s for revenge.
She tells him she will give him some advice and she also.. farts. That’s 2 so far.
They are having a “wild party”
Someone is watching them
They decide to tell ghost stories and Caspian retells the Jimmy story adding that he could open dimensional portals because why not.
They are partied out.. and go to sleep. Snake decides to listen to some music in his hammock.
The Killer *FINALLY* appears at 40 minutes in. Steals his headphones and when he’s done..
pokes him in the eye with some corn.
He does a little dance.. and farts.
It’s the next morning and Ashley and Caspian canoodle and it’s not fun to watch.
And he seems to maybe kill her.
Boots McMidriff has arrived at BLOOD FART LAKE.
But so has Leo who pursued her because he couldn’t stand seeing her get hurt.
He tells her about letting the Group go up to the cabin and she tells him there is a demon there and the only way to fight it.. is to have smexy time right now to recharge her powers.
Afterwards she is unhappy with the quality..of uh.. it doesn’t matter.
Zebes and Sally decide to get sexy in the woods.
But Zebes has no protection. So she sends him off to find some. And Jimmy shows up.
He cornholes zebes. and kills him, but only after telling him Bon Jovi sucks.
He then uses a vacuum to suck fat out of Sally and then force feed it to her. This is as much as I’m posting and you are welcome.
Our two remaining peeps are talking, and when Gwen walks around the building..
Ben finds her knocked out then he too is knocked unconscious.. and it’s time for some more.. exposition.
Caspian tells them he’s eaten all their friends and intends to eat them also.
With the help of Jimmy.. who has for some reason kept Ashley alive.
Caspian has been making Jimmy kill for his enjoyment, and just about the time he is saying “and who’s going to stop me!”
Boots and Leo come in.
and in what is maybe the dumbest twist caspian calls her his sister
Leo and the kids run and she shoots Jimmy. She and caspian talk a bit and jimmy gets up and grabs her.
Final battle time.. I hope.. lol
Gwen gets killed by Caspian
And takes forever to die.
Boots and Leo manage to stick a corn cob in Jimmy’s Skull and kick him in the water.
And that leaves Caspian, Boots tells him.. she knows what she has to do..
They.. they put him in her butt.
She has leaches in there or something it’s weird. Then she poops out the bones. It looks real dumb.
in the Credits we learn that Boot’s character name is “Thunder.. “
WELL that’s it.
In the credits there are links to myspace.
Thunder is actually Thunder Ambrosia, and she’s played by Nicola Fiore and as far as I can tell she’s the only professional actress in this whole movie but it’s mostly little bit parts or indy films.
This is the director, and he basically makes movies like this. You can expect to see more of this on the site. He’s got movies like “Anal Paprika” and “Filthy McNastiest”Tags: 2012, Horror, SRS